You didn’t say.


I’m perplexed. I am often easily demotivated. I’m easily manipulated into making harsh decisions. And, sometimes I go off the road, slightly wander into the rabbit holes far from escaping. It’s just that bad. I have less control over my emotions and often they become uncontrollable, unbearable.

I don’t know what to say.

I really don’t. My problem with the world and myself is probably undefined. I cannot tell you that. I can’t tell you that not because issues like such are hard to define but because I can’t find an easily approachable explanation. I am fumbled by words and attitude. And, I wish people became more humane over the time, isn’t that the age of science and technology has enabled us to do? To become more humane.

Not everyone agrees. Some oppose.

I’m one of those. I face trouble translating my thoughts into an eloquent speech. I sometimes stutter not unknowingly or because I am bad at language or have less than a usual vocabulary. But, because I stand in the state of nervosity.

I’ve been reading Dale Carnegie’s book to find solace after finding the disturbing fact that I have a fear or phobia of unrelated things like speaking publicly. I can’t face the crowd and sometimes my system simply shuts down. I don’t have a trouble thinking about a topic, just that the thought of facing a crowd gives me a bumpy feeling.

 Your purpose is to make your audience see what you saw, hear what you heard, feel what you felt. Relevant detail, couched in concrete, colorful language, is the best way to recreate the incident as it happened and to picture it for the audience. — Dale Carnegie

Being diligent and interested

The promise that I made today to myself is that I will practise, practise my heart out. Become more confident, believe in myself that nothing is insurmountable or insuperable, even the fear of speaking can be conquered and seeing the eloquent speakers just makes my point stronger.

Trying is not bullshit.


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